Saturday, May 31, 2014

I'm Just a Lonely Boy

                      Lonely and blue
                      I'm all alone
                     With nuffing to do . .  .

Well, maybe not a-l-o-n-e, exactly, since the Human *did* come home late this afternoon, and she swears we can have playtime tonight. So we'll see what's what with that. I did have a nice day on my perch here, keeping the neighbors under control.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Snoozy Boy

BOR-ing. That's all I have to say about life around the Castle these days. The Human dashes off at 6:30 a.m. or so and I don't see her again for weeks and weeks. It's an Outrage, Kitties, and as you can see I am at my wits' end. 
This evening she tells me she will be at work for most of Caturday (Outrage, Part Deux) but that (perhaps!) we can spend Sunday together.
Well, I won't be holding my tiny breff, I can tell you THAT, Kitties. 

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Phenomenal Woman

It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Which Twin Is the Phony?

Huh.  Well, the answer is neither! So, just who the heck is this impostor, then? Well, I'll tell you. This is the lovely Onyx, my LadyCat neighbor. We gaze at one another through my kitchen and her dining room windows, but we are not fated to actually meet in the fur, so to speak. Perhaps that's just as well.
As you can tell from her expression, she is a LadyCat after my own heart. The Human had a nice BBQ dinner over there last night and decided I needed to share my blog today. Okay, I'm cool with that. She's pretty, isn't she?

Monday, May 26, 2014

The Back of I'm . . .


Sunday, May 25, 2014

Artsy ManCat Monday

Well, just like always, the Human is a day late and a dollar short. She was going to post this on Caturday Art Day, but ::surprise:: she "didn't get to it," so now here it is ManCat Monday. She sort of followed the instructions posted on Sometimes Cats Herd You (the impawtant part of this sentence is "sort of") to make me look shadowy and interesting, as if *I* am not interesting enough just as I am! Still, she tried and I'll put that down in her meager Plus Column.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

A-tisket, A-tasket

I got inside this basket.
Which would not be notable were it not that, until very recently, I staunchly refused to enjoy boxes, baskets or any other enclosed place. 
I was a Kitty of the Open Spaces
Lately, however, I have discovered the joys of certain enclosures, and last night when the Human removed the lid of this delightful oasis, I succumbed to its charms.
So far, so good. It has not eaten me.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Aaaaaaannnnnnd . . . We're Back

Hello Kitties, It's been a while, eh? I haven't done a post in weeks and weeks! Or maybe it was two days. Anyway, I have missed you loads. I wanted to post; I mean, you know I always have something to say. But, apparently, the Human had "important" Human things to do, so the kitty got shoved to the side. 
On the plus side, I am completely well and hoovering up the noms like a mad man. And hey! It's the weekend, and a long one at that. Life is good.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Wednesday of Few Words

Here I am, alone with your shoes.

I just used my box, and I got nuffing 
that needs horking up.


Looks like you've had another narrow escape.

Monday, May 19, 2014

The Human Went to PetSmart and All *I* Got Was . . .

this really great stuff!
(Surprised you, didn't I?)

Sunday, May 18, 2014

ManCat Monday

Hi Kitties! I am back to basking in the sun, purring during pets and brushies, (mostly) eating my breakfast and dinner, and accepting some cuddles with (mostly) good grace. 
We are so grateful to all of you for the good wishes. The Human feels quite guilty (as well she should) that between fretting over me and keeping up with the deluge of tasks that accompany the end of the school year, she has not been keeping up our end of the visiting contract. I have spoken sternly to her about this, Kitties, and expect a change soon.
Tap, tap, tap, tappity, tap, tap  ::claw striking desk::

Saturday, May 17, 2014

The Back of Disrespect

SO, I finally seem to be really getting better. The Human says she was sooooo worried about me--Phfft. What did she expect after I was all miserable and manhandled?

But for a couple of days now, I have been eating a bit of my regular foods on my own (rather than having her rudely stick The Gerbers in my mouth so I had to swallow it), drinking some water mixed with half-n-half, and following her around again after days and days of barely moving. For the last couple days, I have actually played a bit (like a minute at a time, maybe) with a dangly toy. She was practically weeping with relief.

This whole abscessed anal gland dealio that has now happened three times is a problem. Because I will not allow touching at the vet's without being anesthetized, we can't go the rout of preventive "expressing" every month or so, so we are considering an operation to remove the glands. The vet says that will eliminate the problem altogether

It is quite 'spensive, but that's not *my* problem, now is it? Ha ha meow. But it can't be done till all the current problem is completely cleared up and I am tippy-top, 100%. All the precious bodily fluids they stole (my bloods! my precious pee!) came back purrfect, so we will bide our time and see what's what later in the summer.

We want to thank everyone for visiting so often and purring for me. You are all the best and I'll be back in visiting action soon.

Friday, May 16, 2014


And this hellish week is drawing to a close. 

Honestly, Kitties, do you know who called the house today? Do you? 

It was that Hateful Harridan from the Stabby Place; yes, Kitties, the very same one who knocked me out, stole my precious bodily fluids, and performed unspeakable acts on my bum.

Honestly, can you believe the nerve of her? "How am I doing?" she asks! As if! What--now she's TAUNTING me in my very own castle?

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Can Someone Call the SPCA for Me?

So last night, the Human thought she'd take this art-say/fart-say overhead shot as I was squeezed onto the window sill, wedged in between the window and the chest. 
So she sticks the flashy box through the little curtains and ::click:: and then, and THEN, Kitties, she dropped the freaking camera right on top of me! On ME, Spitty the Kitty. Like I haven't had a bad enough week?

Well, I was outta there and UTB like a shot, Kitties, like a SHOT.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

94° in the Shade

I would be a happier Boy today if it were not Hot as Hades in our cool, gray City by the Bay. 

Tomorrow is predicted to be "only" 81° but in my flinty little heart I know they are lying through their filthy little teefs.

Betrayal is everywhere.

Soon, I will need my Viceroys.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Revenge Is a Dish Best Eaten . . .

. . . again and again and again and again . . .

Thank you to all my furiends who understand the meaning of an Outrage when they read about one. I am sure I am getting better because of all your sweet good wishes and purrs XOXOXO

Monday, May 12, 2014

The Tree of Anger

Here I am, freshly returned from the Stabby Place where unspeakable things were done to me, to ME, Spitty the Kitty, at the hands of some she-devil in a cheap lab coat.

She apparently "fixed me up" (no, not that kind of fix--that ship sailed two years ago) and in the process shaved my nether regions and, Outrage of Outrages, shaved a good three inches of luxuriant furs off my Floofy Tailio, my TAILIO, Kitties.

I am hideous.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

The Great Escape

Sleep, that is. Kitties, believe it or not, once again that awful pesky (blush) anal gland has become horribly painful and it looks like a trip to the Stabby Place will be in my future on Monday. 
Sheesh--again? Well, apparently there is, um, a "more permanent" solution than what we've been doing and perhaps the time has come to consider it. I am not happy about the idea of some masked Human slicing around such a delicate area with sharp metal blades, ::shudder:: as there are other important parts in close proximity, but the Human assures me that the slicer, uh "doctor," will be careful.
Stay tuned.

Friday, May 9, 2014

This Is a Test; This Is Only a Test

Had it been an actual post, we would have had something witty to say (All right, all right, settle down back there in the Peanut Gallery). We are going to try to catch up with visiting this weekend, and we thank all our patient friends who still visit us. Oh, and by the way, this stern expression? It's for the Human, of course, not you, my Loyal Subjects.

Thursday, May 8, 2014


Bet you want some-a this, don't you? Well, if you ask really, really nicely, I'll share . . . and then I might let you have some of this nice grass, too.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Thanks, Human

                                    The Gerber's really hit the spot.
                            I'm ready for my brushies now, please.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Wordyish Wednesday

Oh hi there, Kitties. So, yes, I do understand that this picture is extremely similar to yesterday's picture, and, Kitties, there *is* a reason for that: 

The calendar is inching toward mid-May, which in the Human's world means AP exams, senior finals, regular finals, awards assemblies, junior-senior farewell, sports awards night, Class Day, Baccaluareate Mass & reception, report cards and graduation. Not all of these things are her responsibility, thankfully, but she must oversee many of them and attend all of them. 

Now, you may ask yourself, why should I, King Spitty the First, concern myself with any of this Human nonsense? And the truth is I should not! However, because of these many irrelevant-to-the-Kitty events, the Human has made herself unavailable to me for many activities with which I *do* concern myself: Posting, visiting, commenting. Not to mention petting, brushing and playtime.

I ask you: It is time for a Weekly Report Card?

Monday, May 5, 2014

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Monday, Monday, Can't Trust That Day

You never know what could be lurking out there. 
Here, I patrol my dining room window area 
and pause for a sniff or two before continuing my circuit.  

Saturday, May 3, 2014

What? So Your Pillows Are Not Part

of the whole "Mi casa es su casa" deal? Well, I'm sorry, Human, but that exception should have been negotiated at the time of the original contract. Too late now. I've spoken to my cattorney and he says my case is ironclad. Go nap somewhere else. This spot is taken.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

I Made the Hots Go Away

                                                * The Baby: Here's lookin' at you, kid *